I think I'm convinced...

I've spent most of today either crying over recent events, packing the house to move, or catching up on my blogger pals' posts.

I think I've decided to run tomorrow's 5K even though I will have to register on-site. I'll make a game time call tomorrow morning when I get up.

In the meantime, I'm gonna keep packing, and start hydrating. After how slow I ran yesterday, I'm not sure I can even beat my last 5K time (9:13/mile pace). But, I can try.

I also checked out the McMillan calculator, and based on that time, I should expect to run my 10K in 59:25. But it also says my 4-mile the other day should have been 37:25, almost 6 minutes faster than I actually ran.

I have work to do.

Baila con Zumba!

Another gloomy day, another day of feeling no-so-hot, but I dragged myself to the gym anyway.

I did an hour of only Zumba tonight - no running, no lifting, and it was nice. It reminded me how much I miss dancing (I danced from age 7 until I got pregnant with my son 6 years ago). It also allowed me to move my hips a lot, be feminine and almost flirty.

I spent the first half of the class moving to the music, but still mulling over life's problems in my head. By the end, I was just dancing and focusing on how I looked in the mirror - my form, the definition in my arms that I'm proud of, and really noticing the difference between how I look today and how I looked when I started this journey on January 4th.

Between my month-long hiatus from working out and eating terribly at the same time, I surprisingly only put on about 4 pounds (I'm sure I lost muscle though). From last week to this week, I lost 2 pounds. That puts back to 135, only 5-10 pounds away from my original goal and 17 pounds down from January.

Run to Keep From Crying

Yesterday was the only Monday I haven't run since I started on January 4th (also a Monday). Since then, my best or longest runs have usually occurred on Mondays -- even if I run the day before. But, this particular Monday, I was pooped.

I did make up for it today. Instead of running 28 minutes, walking for 1, then running for 1 (to equal 30 minutes), I felt inspired to run the whole 5K distance straight through. At the halfway point, I got bored and started bargaining with myself... I didn't sleep well, I had just eaten a little snack 45 minutes before which sat in my belly like a brick... it's okay to stop. But, I didn't stop.

In hindsight, I think I needed that run. Not just for my body, but my mind.

You know how people say, laugh to keep from crying. I think I'm running to keep from crying. I sweat like a pig as soon as my right foot hits the conveyor belt. So, maybe I sweat so much that there are simply no tears left to cry. Yup... RUN to keep from crying.

The past seven days have been rough between my work schedule, family stuff, and general life mayhem. Running and working out is great, but it also takes up more time that I don't have, making me feel even more out-of-control sometimes. Although, who am I fooling? I was playing catchup way before I starting running.

That being said, cutting today's run short, or skipping it altogether probably would have made me feel worse. I wouldn't be able to pat myself on the back for running 3.1 miles straight without walking for the first time since high school. I wouldn't have the endorphin boost. I wouldn't have accomplished something today, something I could control.

So, until things get better, I shall keep running.

Net Carbs: 40 grams
Workout: Running
Days 'Til 5K: 24