Running & Enlightenment

After getting off the train last night from NJ, the first thing I wanted to do was run. 

One, I feel like a slacker for not running on my planned schedule over the last 2 weeks. Two, with all of the recent stress and grieving the loss of my grandmother I thought it would be a good idea to clear my head before working last night's shift.

I wanted to run 4 miles, but it wasn't in me. I got to 3.12 miles in 33:50 and just didn't have enough energy to keep going. I finished my workout by lifting weights on my own, mostly upper body. 

I'm honestly starting to get concerned that I've lost momentum by taking it easy these last 2 weeks. That run was much harder than I expected it to be. My 1st race is in only 13 days!

In good news, I lost 3 more pounds, bringing the total to 15... leaving me with only 7-12 more to go.

I also got to meet one of my favorite nonfiction authors, Dr. Judith Orloff today at a workshop in Hartford. We had a nice chat, she signed my new book, "Second Sight," and gave me a hug. 

I had emailed Dr. Orloff the day before about my interest in energy and meditation and my troubles centering and managing my emotions... and lucky for me, she answered. This was a big deal because I've been wanting to email her since I first bought the book, "Emotional Freedom" last year, but I was too nervous.

After hearing my rant yesterday about how I never got to email her, and now she's probably traveling and probably doesn't answer her own email... My mom said something wise about how not trying is halfway to failure. So I listened. Thanks mom! 

I consider that my risk for the day. Anne Marie at Goals for the Week says to take one risk daily. I worry so much about everything, so it's a good exercise for me to throw caution to the wind and take a leap here and there.

Net Carbs: 11 so far... still counting!

Workout: Off today

Days Til 5K: 13

The Here And Now

I'm terrible at living in the moment. Every spiritual, meditation, or relaxation book I've ever read talks about how important it is to well-being.

But, I am an uber-planner by nature. I've had my whole life planned out (with multiple revisions of course) for as far back as I could remember. It's how I cope with uncertainty. I always have a plan.

Even when I think I'm living in the moment, or being spontaneous, I'm usually not. Sometimes I'm not even enjoying the little moments that makes motherhood and wifedom precious because I'm thinking about our next endeavor, making a to do list, or imagining our life five years from now.

Except when I'm running.

It's only been a week, but I am painfully aware of every present moment when I'm running... how my body feels, how I'm breathing, how hot or cold the room is. After a year of struggling to learn how to meditate, and whaddya know? Running brings me everything I have tried to achieve cross-legged and shut-eyed.

I'm not thinking stressful thoughts (except, "What the heck am I doing to my body?"). I'm not worrying about things that have already happened, or things that will happen an hour from now, or even 5 minutes from now.

It's just me, right here, right now -- one footstep at a time, for 30 minutes.